Photographs and Memories
by a-few-of-these-verses
Summary: Krayonder's life has fallen to pieces since Taz left. One night he looks at pictures from when he and Taz were together.


Krayonder opened his eyes when he heard the knock on the door. He hadn't really been sleeping, only drifting in and out of consciousness. This was nothing new, as he had been diagnosed with insomnia two months before. He was used to the permanent state of unfeeling. He looked at his clock and saw that it was 2 in the morning. No one should be there. Unless…

"Taz?" Krayonder whispered quietly. He was met with silence.

Maybe he dreamed it, the knocking. If someone did knock, it was on accident. Probably just Tootsie being clumsy. It would never be Taz at his door.

Krayonder stood up and turned on the lights. He opened his closet and lifted a wooden box from the top shelf. Very carefully, he lifted the lid and was absorbed into the warm memories.

The Christmas card that she'd given him was on top. Krayonder shut his eyes and let the memories return.

__"Feliz Navidad, Krayonder!"__

__Krayonder smiled at Taz and felt his heart race. "Is this for me?" he asked, gesturing to the card in her hand.__

__"Of course it is," said Taz, "It's your Navidad card!"__

__"Thanks, Taz," Krayonder said. His nerves would not stay calm. "Um, your present is in my room. I'll, um, you stay here and I'll go get it-"__

__"Krayonder, I can walk to your room, you know." Taz was much more commanding than normal, but Krayonder didn't want to be any more embarrassed than he already was. Their walk to his room was quiet, and he prayed that she wouldn't notice the loud beating of his heart, or the sweat beads gathering on his forehead.__

__"Ok, um, we'll, I'll get your Christmas gift," Krayonder said as they stepped into his small room. He opened the closet and found the wrapped present.__

__"Merry Christmas, Taz."__

__Krayonder stood in fear as Taz opened the gift. He didn't expect the smile on her face, or the tears in her eyes.__

__"Taz?" he asked, unsure of what to do. "I know you like to read, and I thought that you'd like to read a favorite of mine. It took me awhile to find it in Spanish, but I wanted you to read it in your own language. Do you like it?"__

__Taz continued to stare at him for what seemed to be a long time. Krayonder was unsure what she was planning to do. A wild look appeared in her eyes, and before he could react, Taz had tackled him onto the bed, her arms around him, and was kissing him.__

Krayonder put the worn Christmas card on his bed before moving onto the stack of photographs. Each told a story that he had gone over in his mind hundreds of times before. The order didn't matter. He looked at different photos every day. The picture on top focused on a bright field of flowers, and a woman walking among them.

__It was a rare day that 15A2 landed on a peaceful planet, so when the opportunity rose that they could have a day off, every minute was precious. The crew spent their time relaxing in the shade of the large blue trees. Krayonder and Taz wandered around, eventually laying down in a field of flowers. They didn't need to say anything that morning, no words could matter in this situation. Krayonder picked a vibrant yellow flower and put it behind Taz's ear, earning a smile from her in return.__

Krayonder held the pictures around the edges, trying not to smudge the memories that he held. Most of them were only Taz. He took some of these when she was fast asleep in his bed. It was the only time that she looked peaceful. Other pictures were her waking up and yelling at him for taking the pictures. She didn't really mind, she just liked the fake arguments. They'd start every morning like that before talking about other things.

Broken pieces of glass and plastic lined the bottom of the box, memories of the night Taz left.

__Krayonder rolled over to see only a pillow next to him.__

"_Taz?"_

__He heard the door open. Jumping to his feet, he turned on the light and found Taz, standing in the door with her suitcase in tow.__

__"Taz, where are going?"__

__She avoided his eyes, and instead looked at her suitcase.__

__"Taz," Krayonder repeated, his breathing became unsteady. "What are you- where are you-"__

__"I'm being transferred, Krayonder," Taz said quietly, now staring at the floor.__

__The words spun in Krayonder's head. He was unable to grasp them. "You're being tran-, you're le-, you can't be, Taz."__

__"I'm sorry."__

__"You can't talk to Up about it?"__

__She'd paused before shaking her head.__

__"Taz..." Krayonder stepped forward and it felt like the starship would collapse around him. He put his hands on Taz's shoulders gently, and he noticed that she was shaking. "I'll go with you."__

__"No, Krayonder!" Taz stepped back and looked at him. Krayonder saw tears fall down her face. "I have to go."__

__"We'll make it work, Taz," Krayonder pleaded. "I'll visit you. We'll make it work."__

__Taz gave him a sad smile and shook her head. "Krayonder, I... I can't say 'good-" She paused, her farewell frozen on her lips. Tears welled in her eyes, and she tore out the door.__

And that was the last time that he saw her.

When Taz left, he went straight to Specs to tell her what happened. She told him that she was leaving with Up; they were being transferred together. That's when he smashed the camera. Two weeks later he heard February asking Bug what she should wear to Taz's wedding. Another month passed and the newsfeeds were filled with pictures of the happy bride and groom.

Krayonder lay back on the bed, his eyes stinging with tears. Taz had everything that she'd ever wanted.

All he had left was this box of memories.

* * *

><p><em>Photographs and Memories,<br>__Christmas cards you sent to me,  
><em>_All that I have are these  
><em>_To Remember You._

_Memories that come at night  
><em>_Take me to another time,  
><em>_Back to a happier day  
><em>_When I called you mine._

_But we sure had a good time  
><em>_When we started way back when.  
><em>_Morning walks and bedroom talks  
><em>_Oh how I loved you then._

_Summer skies and lullabies,  
><em>_Nights we couldn't say goodbye.  
><em>_And of all of the things we knew  
><em>_Not a dream survived._

_Photographs and Memories,  
><em>_All the love you gave to me.  
><em>_Somehow it just can't be true  
><em>_That's all I've left of you..._

_But we sure had a good time  
><em>_When we started way back when.  
><em>_Morning walks and bedroom talks  
><em>_Oh how I loved you then. _

Photographs and Memories_- Jim Croce_


End file.
